Flight Etiquette: 12 GOAL Tips

It’s time. I’m about to get really, real.  These things need to be said and respected for the sake of all that fly. Flying is not an easy task for most. We must work together and pay respect to all that step foot onto an aircraft to make transportation comforting for everyone. We frequent fliers have little tolerance for idiocracy and just plain rudeness. Are you ready? 

Listen carefully to our 12 steps of flight etiquette.

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1. Place carry-on items in your assigned overhead compartment.

This one kills me. There is almost enough space for each seat to have one carry-on item placed in the overhead compartments. Do not place your carry-on above other seats. I watch many people fearing that there will be no space left for them in the back of the plane so decide to take the first open space they can find. Meanwhile, they never gave the chance for that person in that assigned overhead to possibly arrive.

If you cannot find a space to place your baggage, ask a flight attendant to help.

They will then be able to place it appropriately.

2. Only one bag in the overhead. 

A big reason there’s never enough space in the overheads is that people like to place more than one bag above. You are only allowed two carry-on items. One bag in the overhead the other goes under your seat.

I would love to place my backpack above me with my luggage, but that only occurs when the cabin doors are shut and I know there is enough room.  Secondly, when placing your bag, please position it in the most convenient way for others to load. Do not place your bag horizontally when it can easily fit vertically.

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3. Keep voices down.

Seriously, the whole flight does not want to hear your conversation. I love those 6 am flights where you are surrounded by those chipper morning people that don’t stop chatting until we land. Flight attendants, this goes for you too. I have sat in the back of a plane and heard way too much gossip from the staff on a flight.

No one is saying don’t speak, but please keep your voices down and respect the others on the plane.

4. Keep children entertained.

Parents, don’t get mad at me for this. I know keeping them entertained isn’t always as easy as it sounds. I do feel awful when a child just isn’t having it and the parent is sincerely struggling. However, I have been on plenty of planes where parenting barely took place.

DO NOT allow your kid to kick the chair in front of them repeatedly.

DO NOT allow your kid to move around the cabin like a playground.

DO NOT allow your kid to make musical instruments with the materials around him.

And please try to calm them from screaming. This isn’t an amusement park ride, this is a form of transportation that many of us don’t use with ease.

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5. If the cabin is prepped for overnight/evening flight, shut your window.

The cabin prepares itself based on the hours you departed from. When it’s the expected evening, the cabin lights will go dark and you may try and catch some normal shut-eye. Sometimes the destination you are flying to has the sunrise much earlier than expected. This is why it’s expected that everyone shuts their windows to try to create a normal sleeping pattern.

That person by the window who decides to keep their window open, blinding other passengers,

needs to go.

 

6. Turn the overhead light off when you aren’t reading.

There is nothing wrong with reading before bed, I do too, but far too often do they pass out with their light on.

For us sensitive sleepers, could you kindly try and shut that baby off when you can, thanks.

 

7. Sick?

We all know that the air circulation is god awful on a plane. Bacteria spreads faster than you can imagine, which is why it’s very common to contract cold symptoms when you land.

If you sneeze, are sick, have an itchy throat, for the love of god please cover your mouth.

I can’t tell you how many times I have watched people hack a lung all over the cabin. I’m sorry you are not feeling well, but this is not your home. Come prepared with tissues. Cover your mouth. And wash your hands frequently.  I live for my antibacterial spray.

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8. Don’t pack stinky food or spray fragrances.

Those that eat hardboiled eggs on a plane or douse themselves in cologne. Seriously? I just said that air circulation is recycled 30,000 ft up in the sky. You can be in first class and I can smell your meal back in the economy.

9. Unless you are ill, don’t stay in the bathroom for excessive periods of time.

Yeah! This is to that one that decides to wash their face, brush their teeth, and do their makeup and hair on one of the two bathrooms on the plane. Is this your private home? No! So why do you think it’s okay to take your time and build a line for the several 100 on board? Do your damn makeup at your seat or use the bathroom at the destination to freshen up like everyone else.

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10. Clean up after yourself in the bathroom.

You would think I wouldn’t have to say this, but somehow this still hasn’t gotten through to people.

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat! It’s not that hard.

If you drop some TP, pick it up. If you get water all over the countertops, soak it up with a paper towel. If the garbage is exploding let the flight attendant know instead of shoving paper in the corner of the bathroom. Let’s work together people!

 

11. Frequent the bathroom? Then choose an aisle seat.

This is me. Girl with the world’s smallest bladder. Not to mention I like to drink a lot of fluid to stay hydrated in the air. I feel terrible sitting by the window while the two next to me are assed out and I’m fidgeting to hold it and not bother them.

 

“Oh hi, sorry, can you please wake up, turn off your music, and stand up so I can pee…. Again!”

The worst. Choose an aisle seat.

 

12. After landing, do not bombard the aisle and rush to the front.

Something we learned back in kindergarten, one at a time, single file. We all want to get off the plane and stretch our legs. The row you chose is your number in line. It is rude to run down the aisle and clog it up by the door when you were originally in row 22. This is common sense and your anxiousness slows down the process. Obviously, those that have a connecting flight and are rushing get a pass. Now let’s talk about the people that are about a row or two behind you.

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While you are patiently waiting your turn to get off the plane.

You finally watch the people in front of you leave their seats.

You are about to step out of your row to grab your luggage and…

Quickly get stopped by the ones right behind you deciding to not wait anymore.  

They push through and don’t allow you out because they decided you are taking too long.

What’s up with that?

You have done your due diligence.

You would’ve loved to have gotten off faster but had to wait, but this guy behind you decides, nah not today.

Again you’re fucking up the process and I swear I may be small but will jump over the seats in front of me to prove a point that I should of went before you.

This one clearly gets me the most heated.

If you can kindly all follow these steps, I promise the idea of flying would be a much happier feeling.

 

So did I nail them all?

Is there something specific about the flying process that really rubs you the wrong way. Please share in the comments below.